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Drag Race Episode 9
Part 1 Ruba walks up to the screen, red lipstick on, wearing fishnet stockings and lingerie and smoking a cigar. She stubs the cigar on the screen, kissing the ashy stub as she whispers "Welcome to Drag Race. The Winner will recieve a headline spot on the Glee Wiki® Pride Tour, a sickening supply of makeup from the Ana Mijatovic collection, and 100,000 puffle points‏. Gentlemen, Start you engines, and may the best woman, WIN!" The queens enter the workroom after Barbara's elimination, crying over her emotional speech. Lady breaks down "she opened up so much we'll miss you lass xxx ):". Lily wipes the lipstick off of the mirror. It says 'GIRLZ, IMMA BE YO LAMPSHADE XXX - BARBARA' Lily just scoffs "fuck this bitch she called me fat smh" "Well, she's not wrong lol" Carrie says in her groce hillbilly accent, flexing her muscles and praying to jesus. Lily ignores the fugly bitch. Kalison approaches Carrie "are we still working together - A xoxo" Carrie turns to face her "lol the whole - A bullshit is getting old haha x" Kalison begins to panick and has to reinvent her image to stay relevant. "but yh were still in dis, lets go for cleo's wig" Cleo heard all of it and hatches a little baby plan against them. Cleopatra goes to Clara and Barbie, who are currently making out and fingering their vaginas. "um hey gorlz" Clara and Barbie are fuming because they have to stop shagging and talk to Cleopatra "wtf do you want, dyke?" Barbie says. Cleo rolls her eyes "bich lets get Carrie out of here, yh? xxx" They all agrey and now it's Carrie and Kalison vs. Cleopatra, Carrie and Barbie. Carrie approaches Lady and asks her if she's still w/ them but Lady says no, So Carrie throws more money at her and she joins them again. Kitty Titz is blazing some marijuana, Rhonda is twerking it out and Lily who knows lmao xxx A noise can be heard from teh screen and they run to it. "hey and bye" the video ends and the queens watch rubaul enter teh room. "hello ladies today we are going to hold a very special event... in the great traditions of paris is burning... THE LIBRARY IS OPEN!" all the queens scrape at their pussies begging for more. Rubaul: "Now, First up... Kalison Kimanda." Kalison grabs a pair of dolce and gabana glasses and places them on top of her mug. Kalison: "Where do we start... Lily Summers. I know why you came back to the competition... You missed your flight back to Uganda." Kalison: "Lady Ratchet, Helium is for balloons, Not your asscheeks." Kalison: "Kitty Titz, Here's someone that if you stand close enough to, You can hear the ocean." Lily: "Clara Redwing, Your shoulders are so manly..." Everyone pauses and Clara stares back. "That's all." Lily: "Barbie... I don't know what's dryer when I look at you, Your wig or my pussy." Lily: "Lady Ratchet... Bye." Barbie: "You know Rhonda Loofa has had a successful career in film, She'll be starring the new production of E.T.; AS E.T." Barbie: "Cleopatra The Bore, Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends, and bring me back my change!" Barbie: "Kalison Kimanda... I've seen people like you before, Shame I had to pay that admission fee." Clara: "Rhonda Loofa, Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you've abused the privilege for long enough." Clara: "Cleopatra De Boer, Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't." Clara: "Kitty Titz, If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used." Kitty: "Kalison Kimanda, If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide." Kitty: "Carrie Magee, Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!" Kitty: "You know, Lady Ratchet, I thought of you all day today... I was at the zoo." Lady: "Carrie Magee, You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering." Lady: "Kalison Kimanda, Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory." Lady: "Barbie Buckfast, I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?" Carrie: "Lily Summers, Are you a german fairy? Lmao ur dumb xxx" Carrie: "Lady Ratchet, go back to ireland lmao" Carrie: "Clara Redwing, ur ginger HAHA" Cleopatra: "Carrie Magee, Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?" Cleopatra: "Rhonda Loofa, There's only one problem with your face... I can see it." Cleopatra: "Kitty Titz, I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass." Rhonda: "Lady Ratchet, The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana." Rhonda: "Cleopatra, I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit." Rhonda: "Kitty Titz, If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ." Rubaul "WOOO THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED, OFFICIALLY." Part 2 The winner of this challenge is... Cleopatra De Boer!" Cleo cries and is amazing and wins the ruba roast because she's too funny and a bunch of people flop. On the runway, Ruba is looking fine and Hibo is wearing fifty burqas. "Cleo u win fuck off. Clara and Lady u did good, go." The bitches wait eagerly. "Kalison, Carrie, Lily and Barbie ur safe x so that mean kitty and rhonda, im sorry my dears but you two fucking sing." They sing to covergirl by ruple and Rhonda goes home. Again. Just as this occurs, Lily walks forward. "I DONT WANNA BE HERE MY MANAGER WILL SEE U SOON WHY DID YOU FORCE ME TO COME BACK" and she leaves, quitting the show 5 ever. "give an amen" "AMEN" Category:Drag Race